Us
by Kei Souh
Summary: "I'm always afraid to ask and too scared to hear your answer. What's exactly going on between us... So I made a choice before it breaks my heart...and still you break it without knowing it."


**Disclaimer I DO NOT OWN SLAM DUNK**

* * *

"Arigatou Hanamichi-kun.. I really have fun today." Shinichi Maki said with a bright smile while patting Sakuragi's head. "I'll pick you up tomorrow. Bye." And then planted a light kiss on his warm cheek.

"Hai... " The redhead replied shyly while watching the older guy until he reach his car and drive. "See you..."

Damn he's on cloud nine.

 _He should._

The very best day of his damn life.

 _It_ _must be._

Sakuragi took out the key to unlock the door and sigh. ' _Shin-kun_ _is indeed a nice person...so mature and understanding.'_ Although he used to teased him during high school, he came to respect and admire him since he enter college and became his teammate.

And he sighed again. ' _unlike someone I known...'_ thinking of certain someone totally changed his mood.

"Ahou...you're late." He heard the very familiar irritating voice inside his apartment the minute he unlocked the door. "Cook something... I'm hungry..." The voice commanded him, none other than Kaede Rukawa. It was really a mistake to gave him a spare key to his apartment, he regret. And he swear that he'll take it back then return Rukawa's house key too after they talk.

Sakuragi sighed again due to some sort of unstable emotions. He's too nervous and just don't know how to start the conversation with the kitsune without having any arguments. Just how many times and how many type of sighs did He let out per minute.

"Shut up..just wait and learn to read the mood asshole!" He shouted back then threw his gym bag at the sofa and gone straight to the kitchen.

"Tch. did that Maki-senpai finally got into your pants too huh..." Kaede Rukawa said, following the redhead into the kitchen and suddenly pushed him off to the wall. "Is he better than me..." He asked, glaring icily at the unguarded redhead.

"Fuck you..let me go..it's hurt!" He shouted, squirming hard at Rukawa's grip. "It's none of your business..whether we fuck or not..."

Rukawa hold him tighter and grabbed his crotch. "It's limp...aren't you satisfied... Not enough.. I can fuck you harder... I can do you better..."

Sakuragi felt a sudden fear looking at Rukawa's eyes. "Let me go..you asshole..he's my boyfriend now!"

And punched Rukawa's face really hard the moment he escaped from him...

Rukawa touched his face with a smoothen gaze this time. His expression made Sakuragi hesitate to throw another punch.

"Boyfriend? Maki-senpai?"

"Yes you dumbass.. He asked me out..."

"And you said yes?"

"Yes of course stupid!"

"Then what about us?!..."

Sakuragi taken aback, eyes widened in realization. "-us?" He almost whispered, the question that never occured to him not even once.

He looked at Rukawa with a confusing look and smirk bitterly. "Is there us?" He asked back as if mocking the kitsune. But it doesn't stay for long seeing Rukawa's pain expression. ' _Shit_!'

Does he really need to asked that and shove it on Rukawa's face that he's dating Maki now?

\- Or-

Yeah right... They do need to talk then ask permission or something like that from Rukawa first before he dated Maki to avoid complications.

 _Excuses._

Everything between him and Rukawa wasn't clear afterall. Aren't they just a fooling around, a fucking buddies to satisfied their needs. They are not in relationship.

It just happened that one time in the shower, Rukawa caught him jerking off while thinking and whispering some guy's name. And because he afraid that the kitsune might hear it and says something to anyone to their basketball teammate, he let the kitsune to do what ever he wanted to do with him.

At first, it was just a forceful hand jobs, then follows a exchanging of hot blow jobs... till they reach to the point that both couldn't handle their lusts and ended up having sex. Rukawa probably sees him as a stupid sex toy anyway so there's no way that the dumb kitsune takes their unclear relationship seriously.

The redhead smiled bitterly. It's hurt to admit that the kitsune was his first man. No...no.. It's just a sex...he keep saying and making himself to believe that it's just sex. No love between them at all.

 _Perhaps..._

Sakuragi watched Rukawa while approaching him. He moved backward then felt the cold wall behind and froze, confused at the kitsune's expression.

' _Say something you bastard...'_ He wanted to shout but seeing Rukawa's face made him shut up. Why does the kitsune looked hurt? Why does his blue eyes staring at him as if asking about something? Or is he accusing him of cheating despite the fact that they are not in relationship?

Rukawa stood an inch in front of him. Sakuragi shiver as he felt a cold callous hand caressing his cheek unbelievably gently. A warm soft lips kissing his lips, surprisingly tender.

"I love you... Hanamichi..." Rukawa whispered after the kissed, leaving the dumbfounded redhead. The kitsune dropped it like a bomb.

Sakuragi felt so so cold as if someone throw a bucket of ice all over him.

He had sex with for many times...many many times that he lost counts...but this is the very first he touched him so gently... _Rukawa_ _always been so rough to him, didn't he?_ And the very first time he kissed him on lips. _He's the one who hated to kiss his lips, is he?_ And calling his name dearly. _Coz do ahou is kinda endearment dumb._

Fuck. Deep inside he knew it. The reason he felt somehow empty and confused rather than happy when Maki asked him out, because it was best choice he could probably have now.

 _To let go._

And he knows well it's all lies. And wrong.

The redhead raise his arm to reached out for Rukawa, watching him as the kitsune drop the familiar key on the floor then leave and close the door behind.

 _Too late._

Sakuragi slowly fell on the floor, clenching his shirt. His heart aches. He's in pain and full of regrets, warm tears starts rolling on his cheek.

He licked his lips and tasted the tangy flavor of Rukawa's favorite drink. "You jerk.." He muttered. "I was thinking of you ...that time...and you're so damn late to ask..."

' _I'm always afraid to asked and too scared to hear your answer. What's really going on between us... So I made a choice before it breaks my heart...and still you break it without knowing it.'_


End file.
